In a recent article on social media, the comment was made that we are 7-8 times more likely to be critical about someone or something than we are to be positive. I thought it a strange statement – how did they get the number? But the more important question is, is it true? How positive or negative are you to the people around you? The answer to that is something very personal. My mother was very critical and her default mode was negative. My paternal grandmother, on the other hand, never said a bad word about anyone behind their back. If she had an issue with you, she dealt with you directly. Sadly, I am more like my mother than grandmother and I have to deal all the time with my tendency to be negative about people.
In the Sunday Gospels at present, we are hearing many sayings from Jesus about loving others. One thing I have learnt in life is that you can’t love someone if you are thinking negative thoughts about them. When are annoyed, or hurt or upset by someone, we easily recall the negative things they have done to us while their good deeds seem to fly out the window. If we want to love them, we have to accept that they are crazy mixtures of both good and bad, as we ourselves are.
Cultivating good thoughts can have a profound effect on our lives. Imagine taking moments each day to recall the good qualities of your spouse, to ponder on the lovely aspects of each of your children, to notice the positive things your work colleagues do. If you are someone who tends to be negative, this exercise can feel like you are letting light into a dark place. Ironically, it might also give the inner strength to confront a negative behaviour in a positive way. This is the practical loving of others that Jesus calls us to do.
Loving Father, you know how challenging loving others can be for me. Send me the wisdom of your Spirit that I may notice and celebrate the goodness of the people around me. I ask this in Jesus’ name, confident that you will hear me.
Sr Kym Harris osb
