The other morning, I went for a walk around the oval with a beautiful student. This student was angry, anxious and feeling frustrated, sitting in the family car, not wanting to get out. They really didn’t want to be at school. The morning had been terrible for this little person, it hadn’t quite gone their way and they were feeling a little overwhelmed. This little person just wanted to stay in the car with mum, to go home and to be left alone. After suggesting a walk around the school, and after a little time had passed, the student decided to get out of the car – a massive step- one deserving of the highest praise. This was not easy for them.
The sun shone down on us as we walked along the foot path. The grass glistened from the moisture that had settled on the ground and birds chirped merrily in nearby trees. We walked quietly for a while. Breathing in and out. This student just needed to be; to be quiet, to be thinking, to be focused on breathing and to be left alone. We walked. We walked some more. After some time, the student was ready to talk. Not about what was troubling them (that conversation wouldn’t take place until much later) or the bad start to the day. After asking some simple questions about the student’s life, they started to talk openly – they played football on the weekends, they had woken up late that morning and felt rushed, they had many brothers and sisters. We spoke about the quiet sibling in the family. The loud one. I shared some of my life too. I was often cranky if I didn’t have my morning coffee, I was anxious in the morning too as I had to leave my dog at home. I told him about my loud, crazy sister and we generally swapped stories. It was nice just to be. Just to talk. Just to take a breath and reset. The next day the same student was at school, on time, and ready to learn. You could not wipe the smile off my face as I told them how proud I was! It still makes me smile.
After being absent from school for quite some time and engaging in distance learning, the road back to class is not always a smooth one. Many of our students will simply wave goodbye at the gate. They will skip and sing their way into school. They will shout good morning with glee. They are ok. They don’t need anything extra other than a hug and kiss goodbye. For some of our families though, the reality of school drop-off can be so different. It can be quite distressing and traumatic. It may result in tears, in shouting and physical and mental distress.
Here are some tips you may find useful if your child is experiencing difficulties, or distress, during the morning transition from home to school;
- Follow a consistent and well-planned morning routine – have a visual timetable on the fridge and talk about what task is coming up next.
- Talk positively about school – talk about your child’s friends, their teacher and the fun activities they will do at school.
- Listen to your child’s fears/worries – validate their feelings and talk about strategies that your child can use to reset, stay calm and feel positive.
- Create a social story – a social story is a narrative that helps explain a social situation to children. It reminds them of what to do, and helps them feel safe. It is created by taking photos, or drawing pictures, of your child completing something positive and writing a short sentence underneath. E.g. At the school gate I say goodbye to mum/dad/carer. This would be accompanied by a photo of your child doing this task. Social stories are read every day before the child enters a setting and prepares them so that anxious behaviours, stress or concern are limited.
- Keep the goodbye short and positive.
- Create a ‘secret goodbye handshake’ you can perform with your child.
These are just some ideas. What works for one child, may not always work for another. You should talk to your child’s classroom teacher, or contact the school, if you have concerns.
Finally thank you all for making my birthday such a fabulous one this year. I smiled the whole day and left work full of love and happiness. I received lots of stunning homemade cards from students, lots of happy birthday messages from the community and heard the happy birthday song many, many, many times. I am extremely grateful to you all. Turning 21, times 2, plus 1 wasn’t so bad after all.
Marijana Pasalic
